There's NOT an app for that.

After our news began to sink in, we started to shift our focus onto the 'what next' and 'omg' and 'are you nervous?' phase.  Mr. Mom downloaded a few pregnancy tracker apps, and perhaps she will offer an app review guest post if I'm really nice to her!

I, however, am disappointed by the options in apps designed for tracking your partner's pregnancy.  They are all for dads (not a shocker, I guess), but many are SO man-stereotyped. Like macho on testosterone and steroids.  Blah.

So far, I've tried three of the least offensive looking pregnancy tracking apps, and I'm rating them on a scale of 1 to 5, where 5 is as good as it gets!

1) What to Expect: 3
This is one is a classic, and it's great for moms-to-be.  As in, the mom with the bun in the oven.  The settings do ask if you are carrying the child or if you are a parent/guardian, but it still feels very mom-focused (minus 1), and really doesn't address the experience of the other partner much at all (minus 1).

2) Who's Your Daddy?: 4
I love the simple design on this one.  Daily and weekly tips (many of which are quite funny), as well as a nice toolkit: Hospital bag packing list, to-do lists, contraction timer.  Minus 1 because it's still assumes I have a penis and use male pronouns.

3) Pregnant Dad: 3.5
Not as pretty on their design as the Who's Your Daddy app (minus .5), but lots of info to read.  I like when I get to learn all the things.  Still has the penis/male pronoun problem (minus 1).

So... Do you use a turkey baster?

This is a popular question.  And I understand the curiosity here.  It's a logistics thing.  But do people realize what they're asking?  What sort of intimate details they're implying?  Maybe they do.  Or maybe not.

The short answer is yes - and no.  

To answer the question, "Do you use something to assist with sperm placement?": Yes.  Is it an item reserved for Thanksgiving dinner?: No. 

There is only one tool appropriate for an IUI (intra-uterine insemination), and it's a 1 ml syringe, with a thin catheter attached to the slip tip.  All items must be sterile for use with this procedure, as a uterus is not designed to fight infection.

For an ICI (intra-cervical insemination), a syringe can also be helpful for positioning sperm immediately against the cervix.  Frequently, a larger size syringe is needed for ICI, because the sample has more volume (unwashed, containing both semen fluid and sperm).  Another option is to use a device called a soft cup, which is designed for women to use during their period, but works well to keep sperm where they need to be (near the cervix).  These items do not need to be sterile because the vagina and cervix are designed to fight infection.  But, you know, don't swipe your soft cup all over the shopping cart handles at your local Target because, gross.  You don't need to test those defenses.

Are you asking yourself, "Self, what's a cervix?"? Check out this educationally gruesome site: The Beautiful Cervix Project.  It's a good anatomy lesson.